Stop trying to skate uphill!!! I love this statement. It punches the truth home by validating hard works gets results and journeys are more often than not riddled with bumps and bruises, so why exacerbate it by trying to be someone else.?
This society has dicated that being “like” somone is the more accepted way of being. Wear your hair a certain way, clothing another way. We are in a society where the world revolves around popularity, quanity over quality and over substance.
Most of the social situations, it’s a norm to show up to the party like beyonce, rihanna whoever the latest and greatest is. Or you have a friend, neighbor or co worker that is livng ther best life and for a day or two you like to live vicariously through them. Isn’t that what Snapchat, Instagram and other social media outlets is mostly about. The chance to see what the best life looks like and try to be “like’ them. Okay great, sure that cool, but what about when reality sets in and you wake into your normal life?
The problem, keeping up with the charade. How hard is it to keep up with with todays trends, computer software and hardware changes. Are we really able to keep up with someone else, live their life, and be the them instead of being the you?
Its so simple for me and others to state “Be you” But what if you have been living an unaccepted existence for so long that you are not sure who you are? or maybe there are indeed changes you want to make but are afraid of losing “you” as you begin to change.
I read somewhere that a sign of mental abuse or dysfunction is person that apologizes consistently for the mundane ordinary things about themselves because they have been taught to dislike who they are. On an extreme level, if you have been in a relationship or brought up in a way in which those normalcies of yours garner apologies, then there is a hint that those things you are apologizing for is the you trying to escape the prison you have put yourself in.
In this instance, baby steps need to be taken if you want to change and I always recommend therapy, if necessary. You may have to break a cycle of self doubt and gain self acceptance.
Begin to look at what you like and don’t like, you may realize you are grape juice lover not sweet tea, stop ordering it because every else is ordering it. ( haha that was me)
if its just image, keep certain considerations in mind:
First: Please, please don’t pretend, be comfortable, I’m a boho lady myself, clothing wise. I constantly have people telling me to wear tight clothes and swimsuits and the like, but I like gowns, dresses that move and boho eclectic styles, so I do not conform. Being different has become my staple, and I love it.
Its more of a turn off trying to be someone you are not than being hella different and standing out from the crowd. Don’t put a mask on, you already probably conform clothing, hair, and the like in order to keep up so why be different, that can be so nauseating.
Being secure with ones self can be an art, it also may take time, but how freeing is to be successful, make it ot the top of the mountaintop, and you know you never sacrificed yourself.
Loneliness, this is often the ultimate fear in not being yourself. If you are different, many of your cohorts may drop away. Your true friends will stay. But you may have to been alone for a moment and if so use it as a time of reflection, or a reintroduction of self, but don’t call it loneliness.
It may be hard if you are a true extrovert and get your energy from people, but don’t sell yourself to someone. Trust me It is better to spend the day the night, or the rest of your life with someone who knows and loves who you are.
There can be only one you, so be the Best you you can be!!!!