How to move on when the love didn’t last
When you break up, stop seeing a person, or you have been ghosted. ( which I think is so cowardly) but anyway, its difficult to say the least. It doesn’t matter if you spoke to someone every other Monday, now every other Monday they are not there. Don’t let anyone tell you, to just “get over it.” Don’t let anyone tell you that it “doesn’t matter,” because it does. For whatever reason you connected with someone and they moved on without you. It happens to the best of us, but no worries because as much as it hurts, its temporary. Connecting with to someone who has no connection to you or loving someone who doesn’t love you, can be like a wound being split open in your stomach, and watching them “tra la la” whilst you drown in tears, well… it sucks!!!! but there are brighter days ahead:
You are not the one!!
Ok so you just knew that you were it..you fit everything he/she wanted, and they fit you. Whats the problem!? Right?…. Were you on a mission to make someone love you? If you had to make, create or make moves for someone to look at you and see you then they were not for you. If you have to make someone, force someone, tap dance, and handstand, if you have to watch what you say, if you hide behind what you think they want to see and not who you are then be happy they are gone, they were not the one for you and you were not the one for them.
Say the bells tolled and you everything fit, and he/she just didnt feel the same. Okay, learn from it and move on. Its hard but here are some things not to do.
- Dont listen to sad music: I cannot tell you how many sad songs you will listen to in the course of a breakup and it just makes you remember all the good, and gone times. If there is a particular song you listened to, apply it to something else. Hell dance, with your dog on it!!, but remove the person from your spirit Also put on uplifting music, songs that say you are great, you are better off, time to move on but don’t dwell
- Clean house: Get rid of everything that reminds you of them. Archive or delete videos, archive or delete pictures. Unfollow and mute them on Instagram. Remove from Facebook, the more you cannot see, the better it is to move on… if not you are still dwelling!!!
- Hobbies: If you write, write about it. Its cathartic, tell your story or write a blog, write poetry. Or if that is not it, then get out go hiking jogging, gym but put as much time into something else. so you don’t….Dwell.
What was it?
What was it you loved, liked or was connected to? Did he/she do something, say something, were with you when you were down or up. Pinpoint what that person brought to you, then find that within you. Find whatever they did for you and open that door to yourself and provide that. Being lost, is real, being alone can be real and feeling unworthy because someone doesn’t want you or feel the same for you is real also. Don’t dwell (keyword for the day) on it, but understand that “a person” does not define you, and doesn’t mean that you are some how unworthy, on the contrary if they walked away they just weren’t ready and as you were ready to give all you were and all you are to that person, they only gave you a part and you ARE worth so much more than pieces of a person.
You will love again!!!
You may feel like you will never want to ever love again, you don’t want to ever feel the pain of losing someone or watching someone walk away so easily. You just gave your love to the wrong person, you freely opened your heart and they may have taken it and callously threw it away. You must go through a process of grieving, you have to hurt, hate, balance and then see the love in yourself and what you can bring to someone deserving.
Open you’re the dark curtains, the shades, walk in the sunlight!!!! Healing is coming when you move, when you get up and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Yes maybe there was something you did, maybe you said something or the person just couldn’t hold on and wait for your season to end. I say better to know now than be in the throws of a fight for your life and finding out that person would have never been there for you. I rather Fight alone than with one that stands on the sidelines and watches me.
I watched you walk away,
Virtual, but just the same
I cried a lot, I cried alittle then I
I realized who I was, who I am and who I
Am gonna be
And then I realized why you left
Because you weren’t worthy to stand with