listening to doctors and nurses, my sister and dad my mind wonders after awhile and the voices sound muffled (remember Charlie Browns teacher) t I drown them out and look at and try to hear my mothers weakened heart beat and selfishly I think about my issues and problems and realize how insignificant they are now, but how significantly needed they were to help me in my process for this moment. That all my issues, loves, losses friends, anger, hate,death, betrayal provided me a level of preparedness to face fear and doubt and the eventual death of my mother.
A year of WTF!!!, which actually culminated in a matter of months. “What the heck else could happen!” I would scream. I imagine GOD needed to speed up my learning process so my problems needed to hit one after the other. Smh. But Everyone has a WTF, a year, a month or a week. It could be the finances, family, life in general can uproot and In a blink of an eye what was peaceful is no longer. You may even feel like a magnet, but its not, it is simple a season. We all have them and they are part of being human. One big problem or too many problems, they do not discriminate. But there is solace in the problems, they tell you who your friends are for one. I hate the statement “ you got too much going on” well I didn’t wake up and put my hand in the problem bag, stuff happens!!! If someone departs because of it. Goood riddens! Ok I digress… Have you ever had such a serious issue that you look back in years prior and say [“ thank god, this didn’t happen then) because not you have the finances, the space, the time the where with all to handle it. Good and bad there is a level of preparedness.
Of course, The future is uncertain, and unpredictable, but problems are a form of preparedness. They are necessary, as they vary in size and levels you gain the ability to withstand, because remember problems are temporary. These are seasons that can come in waves and hit you one after the other, but you will withstand and you will stand and weather them so that you can have the ability to not only gain insight and gain strength but to help someone else through it.
With anything there is a process. Problems have solutions, they may not be the solutions we want but they do. You have to work the solution, work out the issue and understand the process. Many times within the process is not only the solution, but there in-lies the reason for your season.
In prayer, in talking with family and friends and as your season continues, you may often wonder “why now”, “why me” but please understand that nothing is by accident. So why not you, look at this as process of leveling up, in knowledge, in strength and in triumph.
I often ask people that I work with or have talks of motivating and encouragement with “What do you want?” and I get mostly the same answer. “Peace” But do you know what it looks like to you?. Your peace may not be the peace that you have envisioned. It may be the ability to help someone through the same problems you faced, there is peace in that. Going through your issues, bigger issues but with assured footing, there is peace in that. Knowing that you have given it to God, there is peace in that.
My peace? I am supposed to go through mess down here, because my peace is when god tells me I have done well.